Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and Why I’m Checked Out

The first Jurassic World movie overperformed at the box office. Can we say that about Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom? Isn’t it safe to expect the sequel to make such a huge splash?

This movie has already made over $700-M worldwide and close to $150-M domestic over the weekend. Seriously? While Solo: A Star Wars Story bombs, Jurassic World 2 just simply kills it? Yea, I know what some of you are going to say. “Shut Up, Dave! Jurassic World was way better than Solo!” Oh No it wasn’t! *punch*

Okay look, movies are subjective. It would be a world of boredom if everyone agreed. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Blah Blah Blah. Jurassic World 2 was not a great movie…in my very humble opinion.

jurassic world fallen kingdom
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It’s obvious that I’m not a huge fan of the new Jurassic World films. Honestly, I haven’t like any of the Jurassic movies after the first – which was a freaking classic. I would venture to say that “Fallen Kingdom” is a touch better than its predecessor. For me, however, that isn’t saying much. This film seems good on paper, though the execution left something to be desired. I’ve come to realize that I’m just simply not a big fan of Chris Pratt either. It’s strange that way because I don’t dislike the guy – and he’s a good enough actor. But I feel like the producers think we like this dude more than we actually do. Sorry for using “we” because I can only speak for myself and apparently, I’m a minority. In this instance, I’m reminded of actors like Jai Courtney or Sam Worthington. Like Roman Reigns (WWE wrestler if you’re a cave dweller), these guys were shoved down our throats movie after movie like we kept asking for it. That’s almost how I feel about Pratt. Yes, he received a career boost from his Guardians of the Galaxy work but…come on. (And Yes I know of and like him in Parks and Recreation)

 

Chris Pratt...again
I cared more about Blue than I did about Chris’ character

Wow, you really don’t like Chris Pratt. You Suck.

Again, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t like him, just not as much as most people seem to. That’s just my unpopular opinion – which is part of my problem with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. They had something going here with the overall story but just didn’t bring it home. Upon internal review, I think I’m just looking for more story-meat and drama. The first Jurassic Park film simply cannot be redone. To expect the producers and writers to match that level of magic and excitement is both ludicrous and unfair. But if Jurassic World is going to kill it in the box office like it has, I’d expect a little more than we’re getting.

 

Well, what DID you like about the movie, Dave?

It had some good suspense, the CGI and practical effects were really good, and I really like watching my fourteenth wife, Bryce Dallas Howard, work. (or is she my sixteenth…whatever) Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is not a BAD movie. I would probably buy the Blu-Ray and would watch it on cable, no problem. But it was all show and no go. (In my Jason Statham voice)

This is a New Day for Dinosaurs.

Expectations of movies these days aren’t what they use to be. It’s important to state that this is a new day for the Jurassic Park/World franchise. People don’t just want dinosaurs, they want a rollercoaster. I’d be hardpressed to judge those people because I actually hate rollercoasters and yet again, I’m in a minority. Not because I’m scared of them, but because I’m scared Sh*tless of them and I think they’re ridiculous machinations of death designed for the criminally insane. With that said, I could care less about a rollercoaster film unless it’s animated – like The Incredibles. (Awesome Movie!)

 

With all that said, in a world where I mattered, I would give Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom a rating of…….

Drumroll Please…

 

 

The Jurassic World films simply aren’t for me. Considering the entire franchise, it’s actually second only to the original Jurassic Park. So, that’s saying something…right?

 

 

Fandango- Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in Theaters 6/22!Go see for yourself and tell me what you think!